Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Nobody Understands.....Nobody

Nobody Understands...Nobody. I don't expect them to either. I could sleep for days....and days. I am sick. I know this is why. I hate this feeling, but there is no getting over it. It's literally killing me. I'm sad. I'm so, so sad. I can't get out of this state either. I don't think I want to either....as long as this continues. If death is bad, I don't think I'll survive it either. I can't talk to anyone much because they just don't know what I feel. I don't expect them to. I don't want anyone analyzing me on this. If you've been there, then you know. Don't try to analyze this. You can't. I have one true friend who is there for me.....who don't ask me why I feel this way....who just listens to me rant and cry. That friend loves me. But who wants to listen to this all the time? This is why I don't tell this friend when I feel this way....I don't want them to hear it all the time!!! Who Would? I don't think my own family knows either. I don't bombard them with the details of my feelings. If I do, some are quick to judge me....not love me....and they don't listen. I don't need a judge....I don't need my family to tell me how to feel....I need them to understand and love me. How about a little love instead of knowing what to tell me to do? You don't know....you can't ....you're not there!!!! I am!!!! It's hard to be in the middle....try it a while....be in the middle and see how you feel. You might not be so quick to judge my feelings!!! I could rant on and on.....Just love me.....don't try to start something with me. I cry.......who cares?!?